Where I Have Gone Wrong Supporting My Spouse

by Kevin on July 30, 2012


My Family

You may be thinking that if someone is willing to support their spouse publicly, to the point of putting a blog out to broadcast their support to the rest of the world, they must have been supportive since day one.  That might be the case with some people.  Unfortunately, I can’t honestly say that is the case with me.

I have mentioned this in a few previous posts as well as on the About page that when my wife, Michelle, first started in network marketing, I was not as supportive as I could or should have been.

If you are a spouse of a network marketer, you may have been supportive from the beginning.  I have witnessed many husbands and wives who would fall into this category.  Kudos to you if you do fall in this supportive category.

Keep doing what you are doing because you are shining example to many.  If I were a betting man (on rare occasion I guess I can be), I would venture to say that it made a smoother beginning for your husband or wife than for someone who did not get that support in the beginning from their spouse.

Whether you are one of these supportive spouses, someone who is looking to improve on being more supportive (it’s okay to admit, I am still trying to improve, or you are a network marketer wanting to learn more about the experience of spouses of this profession, I have put together this list of some of the ways that I personally was not as supportive in the beginning as I could have been.

Lack of Understanding – Initially this was not really my fault, and it may not be yours if you have not yet figured out this business.  Network marketing/direct selling  is very different than other more mainstream or traditional types of businesses.  With that said, it became my responsibility to learn more about the business as Michelle stayed in it.  It took me awhile to get to a point that I was willing to learn more about the business. What I needed to do was to be willing to speak with people right away and start doing some good research on the topic.

Being Passive – Sure I was willing to “let” Michelle join on with a network marketing company.  Let’s be honest, I did not really have that much of a choice.  Basically, I buried my head in the sand as she began her journey.  What I needed to do was to take a little more active involvement if even just take the approach that it was a venture that we were taking on together.  As I have taken on this more approach we are in it together, it has become more fulfilling for both of us as we get to celebrate the successes of this journey together.

Not Listening – Okay, men out there… let’s be real.  There are many of us out there who are bad listeners to our wives.  Women spouses, you may or may not be off the hook on this one.  Point being that my wife shared a lot of her excitement in the beginning.  I could have helped to embrace it and helped to channel that excitement to help build on it.  She was giving me a lot of great information.  I should have been more willing to hear it.

Wanting to be Right –  Here is one thing that I am guilty of at times, and quite frankly this is somewhat of human nature.  We expect to be right.  If something is part of our belief system, we will look for evidence in the world around us to support our beliefs.  The sad part is that if we are not careful, we will let our perceptions and beliefs guide our decision making rather than allowing ourselves to learn more so that we form our understanding based on rational logic.  In the beginning, it was my belief that no one made money in network marketing, and the whole thing was some kind of a pyramid scheme.

Instead of looking at the facts, I allowed myself to think that we were heading no where in the business and that you had to be one of the first to join to make any money at all.  Sadly, this was based on information or comments (over time) from people who did not really know what they were talking about.  What I have learned is that network marketing really is a viable business model, and with any business model it takes hard work and dedication to be successful.

Wrong Expectations – Actually, I had no idea what to expect.  My expectations switched back and forth in the beginning between “this will never work” and buying into hype that made me think we were going to make a million dollars in a short period of time.  What I have come to learn is that this is a journey that we will take together.  It took us awhile to get to a place where we were getting consistently good profits from the business, and Michelle was perceived as a leader by her team and potential team members.

Hopefully you have learned from where I have gone wrong.  If you are a spouse that has become more supportive.  What mistakes did you make that others can learn from?

  • Ruth

    I love this post Kevin, because it clearly brings out the frustration that a lot of people face when their spouses do not understand or support their MLM business.
    I’ve found that unsupportive spouses switch over when they start to see results but until then, it can be very frustrating.
    Thanks for setting up this blog, I’m sure it will help many people in this industry.

    • http://supportyourspouse.com/ Kevin Sanderson

      Thank you for the kind words Ruth! I hope that I can help more spouses become supportive of their network marketers.